Finding Hope: Chapter 12

   I heard him screaming at the top of his lungs. I was freaking out, I didn't know what to do, and that was when my mom and dad and Jane and Connor's parents came in. They had horrified looks on their faces which explained everything.
  
   Mr. Hudson went to get the doctor and the rest of us tried to calm Connor down. We didn't know why he was screaming. I thought he was in a lot of pain at the time and he just screamed for some reason.
 
   My heart was thumping wildly, I felt it in my chest. Thump, thump, thump. It felt terrible. My heart was yearning for Connor. And we both knew exactly why.

   I, Madison Grace, was in love with Connor Hudson. I was in love with this sick dying fourteen year old boy who won't live to see high school, or graduation, or anything in between. I knew him for so long, I couldn't let him go. I needed to have my last moments with him.

   The doctor came in and ushered us to get out of the room. They were doing tests on him and trying to calm him down. I peeked in to see what was going on in there. Jane was getting in the way also. Everyone was anxious to see what was going on.

   Finally after what seemed like forever, the doctor let us come in and said, "Connor is sleeping and is okay now, he may scream again at one point, but other than that, he's fine."

   We were all relieved. But I knew he wasn't going to be fine for very long. He was still one day away from leaving all of us. It just wasn't meant to be.

   Mr. and Mrs. Hudson went back to his room and my family and I went back home. I wanted to stay, but they were very tired and said we could come back tomorrow. But all I could think of was that, what if there is no tomorrow? Maybe he leaves us tonight? I just couldn't stand to think that, so I went home without another word about it.

   The next morning we left at 12:30. I was so worried he wouldn't be lying in his bed when we got there, but thank goodness he was still there breathing.

   We went into the room where we found Mr. and Mrs. Hudson sleeping in two chairs, but we startled them and they got up.

   Connor was fully awake when we got there and was drawing in what looked like a notebook.

   "Hey, guys," Connor said when we walked in. My mom and Mrs. Hudson went to get some coffee and my dad and Mr. Hudson went outside the door to talk a bit and I was left with Jane.

   "Hey Jane, what's up?" Connor asked sitting up.

   "Nothing. Hey, I thought you were sick!" she said noticing he was drawing and sitting up.

   "I am sick, I'm just able to do these things," he answered putting away his notebook.

   "Ohhhhhh," Jane said long and annoyingly.

   He chuckled to himself and said, "Hey, can you get me something?"

   Jane walked toward him and said, "Anything!"

   He smiled graciously, "Can you go find me an animal magazine and some hot cocoa?"

   She grinned, "Of course! Wait right there!" she walked out of the room and down the hall, we could hear skipping sounds.

   We laughed, "Were you just getting rid of her?" I asked smiling.

   "That was the plan, and I think it worked," he said smiling.

   "How do you feel?" I asked concerned.

   "Really, not that good," he said watching me look down.

   "Oh... do you think today is... the day?" I asked still not looking up.

   "Madison... look at me please," he said which made me look at him surprised.
 
   "I don't know if it is, but if it is... I want you to be at my side when it happens," Connor said pulling me closer to him.

   "Connor... please tell me you'll be okay," I said.

   "I'll be fine,"

   I looked at him longingly. For a second I think I saw tears form in his eyes. He never seemed to care. I wanted him to pull me closer and kiss me, but before he did anything, the door opened and my mom and Mrs. Hudson walked in.

   We pulled apart and their faces were almost filled with tears, seeing for a second that our hands were together and our faces were sad and loving.

   "Oh, get back together. We won't bother you, we promise," my mom said.

   I looked at her thinking, With you guys watching, I don't think so!

   But Connor didn't seem to mind and reached for my hand and said, "One last moment with you, will mean the world to me,"

   I looked at him forgetting my mom and Connor's mom were present at the time and said, "Of course,"

   Quietly my mom and Mrs. Hudson slipped out of the room and watched from the window outside without us knowing that they were watching.

   "Come here, please," Connor said. I sat on the bed beside him, fingers still entertwined. He looked at me and I blushed.

   I could feel him breathing heavily. At that moment, I just wanted everything to stop and freeze this moment and live in it forever.

   I could hear Jane going, "Let me see! What's going on in there?!" I didn't mind what Jane or anybody was doing at that point. I was alone with Connor for one last time. It was the only time, I was ever going to see him again.
  
   Connor put his arm around me and I looked at him, he looked at me, and for one moment, love was in the room surrounding us.

   I wanted him to kiss me. My first real kiss. And I would share it with Connor.

   And I got exactly what I wanted. He kissed my lips softly and sweetly. I wanted to freeze that moment and live in it forever.

   He pulled away and I put my head on his chest and I could feel his heart beating fast. I began to cry. I would only hear that for a couple more minutes. And I wanted to hear it beat one last time.

   He kissed my hair and said, "Even though I won't make it, I'll always love you, Madison, always," I began to cry even more.

   I knew everyone was watching us from outside the door, but it didn't bother me, "Me too, Connor, me too,"

   I felt something slip into my pocket. It crinkled. It was a piece of paper that Connor put in.

   He was breathing more heavily this time and I knew it was the end.

   "Goodbye, Connor," I said.

   "Goodbye, Madison," he said.

   He kissed my hair one last time. I heard his heart beat one last time... end.

   I cried harder than ever. He was dead. His heart wasn't beating anymore.

   Everyone came back in the room. Connor's parents started crying. I was crying. My mom, dad, and Jane were staring at us feeling sorry.

   I couldn't help, but stay in my position. I looked up at Connor's face. His eyes were shut. He wasn't breathing. His whole world was at an end. His face was pale and dead. I touched his cold cheek and kissed it. My lips were shivering and they turned purple.

   I finally stood up, walked to the door, and left the room.