Finding Hope: Chapter 7

   I walked in the cold to Connor's house. His house was not far from mine, about a block down the road.
   I hadn't dressed up yet. I was still in Capri's, sweatshirts, and ponytails. I didn't want to dress up at all anymore. I only dressed up because... well... because of Connor. I thought he would think I am pretty when I dressed up... but I don't feel pretty anymore. I don't feel the need to dress up. It's like a doorway to darkness. Darkness... that's all I'll ever feel.
   I knocked on their door and his mom answered, "Hello, Madison,"
   "Hi, Mrs. Hudson, can I go see Connor?" I asked.
   "Of course, he's up in his room." she told me.
   "Thank you." I replied. She let me in and I walked upstairs to his room.
   I walked up to his opened door and walked in.
   His room was plastered with posters and photos like always. He had dark green walls, and a blue rug. His bed was in the center where he was lying.
   "How are you?" I asked counting how many times I have said that in over a month.
   "I'm okay," his voice was below a whisper.
   "Can you move?" I felt really bad for him.
   He shook his head, "Not much,"
   I sat down in a chair next to him.
   I sat there wondering what to say next when he interrupted my thoughts and said, "I'll be leaving soon,"
   My heart started thumping in my chest, "No, don't say that,"
   He insisted, "But it's true. I feel terrible. I can hardly move. My final days are almost up," I grabbed his hands, "No, Connor. It's not true. You only think it is, but it's not. You will live longer, I promise," I started to cry.
   He swallowed hard, "Madison, please don't make this harder than it already is. I want to think like you, but I can't. What I say is true. Even the doctor said... the doctor said I only have a few more days to live... they've tried everything they could, but it just wasn't enough,"
   By this point I had streams of tears covering my face, he reached his hand out for my face and wiped the tears away.
   I stared longingly at his deathly sick, innocent face I have known forever and thought, maybe he is going to die soon, he looks so sick... I can't think like that!
   "You'll be okay, I promise," he said.
   I shook my head, "Not without you, you can't do this!"
   I started crying even more burying my face in his chest hugging him tightly.
   He stroked my hair, "You'll be okay,"
   I looked up at his pale face, "Okay,"
   He smiled shyly.
   I stood up looking at him wiping my tears away, "You won't forget me?" he asked.
   "Of course not.... will you look down and watch over me in Heaven?" I asked.
   "Yes, of course I will," he smiled.
   "You still love me?" I asked.
   "Yes, you still love me?" he repeated.
   "Yes."
   I smiled back. He loved me. I loved him. That was all that mattered.